Sometimes a breakup can be so bad that you are left to believe that itís over and done with for good. However, there are ways that you can manage to get your ex back. These useful tips are shared in this article.
Step 1: Questions To Ask Yourself Before Deciding To Rekindle Your Love!
Was Your Relationship Abusive?
If you were in a relationship that was abusive in any way, then by all means, leave it alone and move on. You donít need to be with someone like that.
Why Do You Want Your Ex Back?
You should always question your motives. Make sure that you are making the right decisions for the right reasons. If you want to get your ex back because you are still in love with them, then this is a good decision. If you are trying to get your ex back as a way to take revenge on them then this is not a good motive.
Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?
There are a number of people who canít stand the thought of being alone. If you are such a person, you need to realize that this isnít the right reason to try and get an ex back. This shows signs of insecurity that are not good. They can make you make the wrong decisions such as being with the wrong person just because you donít want to be on your own.
Is Your Ex Dating Someone Else?
There are times when you just need to let go of an ex. If your ex moved on, then let them be. Trying to meddle in his/her new relationship will not work out well for you. In addition, if your ex is married, then trying to come between these unions is just wrong on so many levels. If your ex has moved on, then let him or her be. Donít try to get your ex back simply because you have heard that they have moved on.
Does Your Ex Deserve A Second Chance?
You have to be honest with yourself. Not all exes deserve a second chance;
others are jus better off left alone. You have to seriously sit down and think about this. If your ex cheated on you, do you really want to take them back? These are the things that you should consider. There are times when you are just much better off alone than in some relationships.
Why Did You Break Up In The First Place?
You should never forget the reasons why you broke up in the first place. If
these issues arenít resolved then even if you manage to get back with your ex, you are likely to break up again. For instance, if you broke up because you were unhappy about how they treated you, you have to consider this. Do you really want to have a repeat of the same issues?
Are You Ready To Have Your Ex Back?
Sometimes exes need sometime apart. If you broke up because you wereconstantly fighting, you need to take some time apart to first figure out whether or not you want to be together. Sometimes you should also take some time and work on your personal issues before trying to get your ex back. For instance, if you had low self-esteem or any insecurity, work on building your confidence then you can try and get your ex back.
Think about the reasons that made your relationship fail in the first place.
Step 2: How To Win Back Your Ex
You can get your ex back again. If this is your soul mate or you still love them then you owe it to yourself and to your relationship to do everything possible to reconcile and make things work again.
Stop Acting Like Itís The End Of The World
Itís not the end of the world, so stop acting like it. This will make you
unfocused and you will not be able to get your ex back with this kind of attitude. You have to calm down and get your thoughts together. Then get a plan in hand. Find out what you happened, what you want to do to get back your ex and what you will do once you have them back.
Make A Plan
You donít have to write it down, but you can just think about your course of action. Donít try to contact your ex without any plans. You may end up making some mistakes.
You Have To Be Strong
Itís definitely hard to see someone you love walk away. This is why many people get depressed over a break-up. Itís natural to want to cry and stay in bed all day. You may not even want to talk to other people. However, you can let your ex see you like this. You have to get yourself together. Crying and being miserable will not help you win back your ex.
Find Out What Made Your Relationship Fail
If you donít even know what made your relationship fail, then you need to start from this point. You have to find out what went wrong between the two of you."I think we should just be friends". This isnít a stamen that is normally thrown away just for no reasons. If someone who once loved you doesnít want to be with you any more, there has to be a reason why.
It is very important that you learn how to listen. If your ex left you because they didnít like something that you did, listen to them as they tell you this. You may be tempted to argue back or defend yourself but this isnít how you will win them back. This may actually push them away. You have to show that you are willing to know where you went wrong and possibly change. Donít try and justify your actions by coming up with defenses or a list of why you were right.
Give Your Ex Some Space
It may not seem like a great idea but it actually is. You have to give your ex some space. Sometimes this may mean not contacting them for a period of time. If your ex particularly asked you for some space then its best to respect their request. However, donít give them too much space and start ignoring them for months. This isnít going to work.
Donít Stalk Your Ex
Itís natural to want to see your ex or at least talk to him/her. However, donít push this. You probably have seen those movies where someone stands outside their exesí window or door for hours crying or singing. That wonít work; you canít suffocate your ex with attention and hope that they will take you back. Donít call or keep following them around.
Get Your Mind Off Your Ex
This may not sound like a good plan but it actually works. You need to find new hobbies or something that can keep your mind focused. If you keep thinking about your ex, you are more likely to make some dumb moves. You may be out with your friends when suddenly drink and dialing sounds like a great idea. Find other interests. This will help you in working on making yourself better. It will give you some level of independence and selfconfidence and get you ready for the relationship.
Donít Try To Involve Third Parties
Sometimes when you feel like you have done everything that you can possibly do to get your ex back, you may result to desperate measures. Most people think that trying to get a friend or family member to intervene may actually work. This is because they reason that the third party is likely to have better results. However, this may not work well for you. Your ex may resent you for involving other people. It may also make them angry and start feeling uncomfortable.
Spend Some Time Together
Once you and your ex have started talking and some good amount of time has passed by, you should now try and spend time together doing things that you used to like. For instance, when your ex starts coming around, you can ask them out on a date to go to one of their favorite place or watch a movie together.
Donít Stop Trying
Some people imagine that once you have your ex back then thatís just it. However, the efforts donít stop here. You have to learn how to keep your ex. You may works for months to get them back only to lose them again in less than just a week. Put some time and invest in making your relationship work once the ex is back in your life again.
Step 3: Mistakes That Can Make You Lose Your Ex Forever
It is very common to be overcome by desperation when trying to get back an ex. In this step, you will learn some of the things that you should never do.
Being Too Nice
This is actually one of the biggest mistakes that you can ever make. Some people think that they can win their ex back by simply showing them just how good they are. There are others who decide to be push-over or doormats in the quest to winning their exes back. It is ok to be nice but itís not ok to be too nice. This may push your ex away.
You should learn to be your own person. You wonít win your ex back by simply agreeing with everything their do. Your partner will respect you more if they realize that you have the ability to make independent decisions.
Trying To Force Them To Come Back To You
If your ex wants to come back to you, they will make this decision on their own. Donít try to force them into making this decision. Itís not wise to come down with a list of reasons as to why they need to come back to you. Donít try to argue with them or push them to make decisions. You canít force anyone to be with you. Trying to do so will only work against you.
Itís ok to say that youíre sorry, however, doing keep doing this over and over again. It can be very annoying! If you keep pushing it, you will end up pushing your ex away for good. No matter how guilty you may be feeling this isnít a good move at all.
You can make some good changes in your life so as to get your ex back. For instance, if your ex had a problem with you working long hours or drinking, you can change these things to make your relationship work. However, you canít change who you are. If you like certain things, thatís innate, you lover should be able to accept you the way you are.
Trying To Use Money to Buy Their Love
There is a popular love song by a band called Blackstreet by the title "Money can buy me love". Genuine love isnít based on money or materialistic things. If you want your ex back, going out to the car dealership and getting them a new car is not the best move to make. You shouldnít also give them money at all. This may not be taken well. Your ex may be offended and feel cheapened. You canít buy love so donít attempt to.
Trying To Convince Your Ex That You Love Them
Some people believe that a person will come back to them once they realize just how much they love them. This pushes them to keep telling the ex, "I love you" over and over again. Saying that you love someone once is understandable; reminding them ten times a day is a bit too much.
Ignoring the Laws Of Attraction
Do you remember when you started dating, how much you were attracted to each other? You probably used to take time to make yourself look very good before you went out on date? Some people even buy new clothes so as to impress a person. Attraction is very important in getting someone interested in you.
Why would you even want to get to this point? "Iíll kill myself if you donít come back". This statement will not work under any circumstance. Actually if you want to lose your ex forever then go ahead and try and do this. This is a pathetic attempt to get their attention.
Being Too Flirty Or Seductive
You want your ex to fall in love with you again not to fall in-lust with you.
You should look good but donít overdo it. Donít try to seduce your ex. This may work for only a night but then once thatís done, the ex will still remain the ex. They may actually lose respect for you for stopping as low as trying to use sex to get them back.
Trying To Rush Things
You ex probably still has feelings for you. This will make them listen to you or try to give you chance to explain things or try to make things work.
Contacting Your Ex Frequently
Trying to contact your ex all the time isnít a good move. Donít keep calling or showing up at their homes or place of work. This can even be perceived as stalking. You may become a nuisance and therefore end up pushing your ex away. If you contact them, keep it simple and donít over-do it.
Donít go trying to get your ex back if at all, you havenít fully made up your mind. First find out whether or not this is what you really want. If you are indecisive, this will definitely show. Your ex will sense this and they may pull away. In addition, you wonít be able to come up with a good plan to get someone back if at you arenít even sure about what you are doing.
Stay Away From Mind Games
One of the most popular mind games is trying to make your ex jealous by flirting with someone else. This actually never works! Showing up at your exís favorite hangout with another person in your arm is a clear indication that you donít want your ex back. Itís also a sign of disrespect.
Donít Panic Over Rebounds
Your ex may have started seeing someone else as a rebound. This is may be hurtful and may break your heart. However, rebounds donít last most of the time. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down. If your ex is meant to be with you, they will. This rebound relationship isnít going to keep them away.
Step 4: How To Ensure That Your Ex Doesnít Leave Again
In this step, you get some tips on how to ensure that your ex stays with you.
If you want to make your relationship work, you have to learn how to communicate effectively. There are reasons that you had broken up in the first place, this have to be discussed first. If you used to fight a lot, you have to sit and talk about your issues. Make sure that you are open with each other.
Spend Time Together
Once you get your ex back, you need to invest some time in rebuilding your
relationship. You should spend time together. Remember, when you broke up, some damage was done to what you shared. Ignoring this will only make your relationship worse. You have to invest time in being with the person you love.
Spending time together is definitely healthy for your relationship. However, this doesnít mean that you spend every minute together. You may be scared of losing your ex again. However, following them around will not help them stay with you.
Learn To Trust Your Partner
No matter what may have happened to break you up in the first place, you have to work on trusting each other. You also have to forget whatever happened when you two broke up. Even if one of you was in a rebound relationship, you have to work through this. Donít spy on your ex by going through their cell phones. You shouldnít try to cross on their personal space in the name of "looking for proof".
Learn To Accept Your Ex
Your partner may have changed during your breakup. They may start doing things differently from what you are used to. If you really want to make your relationship work then you have to learn how to live with these new changes.
Avoid Unnecessary Arguments
You should therefore avoid arguments that may seem harsh or disrespectful. Try to put your points across respectfully instead of being harsh. During this time of rebuilding your relationship, a single fight can simply ruin everything again.
Intimacy is very important in any given romantic relationship. This can
build or ruin a relationship. Try and meet your partnerís sexual needs. Even if you are still angry at them, give yourself enough time to heal then work on being intimate again. Keep things interesting in your relationship.
Let Go Of The Past
It will not easy to just forget everything that happened. If words were said or actions were done that may have been hurtful, this needs to be forgiven and forgotten. You will not be able to rebuild your relationship and be happy together if at you are still bitter about the breakup.
Step 5: When To Give Up On An Ex and Move On
In this step, we look at some of the things that may signal the end of your relationship. As much as you want your ex back, there comes a time when you have to move on.
Non- Responsive Exes
Unfortunately, there are times when your ex may make up their minds that they are done with you and thereís nothing that you can do about this. When this happens, you need to know that itís time to move on. If your ex wonít give you a chance to even talk to them no matter what you do, you may need to just go your separate way. You should give your ex some space but if itís been months and you still havenít heard from them, then itís time to move on.
Your Ex Has Moved On
There is a difference between a rebound relationship and seriously moving on. If it has been months since you broke up and your ex is already seeing someone new, then let it go. This is especially important when the ex gets married. There are people who cling to a lost love even up to this point. They try to convince themselves that the ex canít possibly be happy with another person no matter what happens. This isnít healthy, you have to move and give yourself chance to love someone else. If your ex has moved on, let them go.
There are times when your ex may be so angry that they turn violent. This isnít a good sign. If you try and talk to your ex and realize that they are still very angry at you, maybe you should give them some space. If they threaten you, you need to get away from them. Anger is a common response especially when one of the exes is accused of cheating. Some people take their anger too far and may even become violent.
If You Realize That They Only Want Sex
There are exes who keep having an intimate relationship even after they break up. If you want your ex back because you love him/her avoid having a physical relationship. However, if you realize that they just want to sleep with you but now get back together then this your cue to leave.
Breakups can be tough. Its normal to react in any way that can help you deal with the pain. You may decide to cry and wallow in your sadness thinking about what went wrong and how good things used to do. However you can get back on your feet and start working on getting your ex back. Itís not easy to find love so donít give up on someone that you love without a fight.
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Wish you all the best as you find love again!